Wednesday, September 9, 2015

I'm supposed to be doing laundry...but I'm in a waiting room

I have a zillion loads of laundry...this happens every 3 days I feel like. The battle is a never ending one. Gah! Laundry 1, me 0.

But I have not blogged in a serious amount of time now, mostly cause I don't have time due to Kellen, my Lily pup (and laundry haha). But that's life, it gets busy.

I just want to say though that things have been great here. I finally feel like we've been riding the wave of 'normalcy'. Things have slowed down enough to where we are getting our lives back and not constantly working on the house every spare minute. We've actually gotten quite into LOST. We are hooked. Sayeed is bad ass. There I said it...there's no other way to say it really (and if you're offended, go read a KJV bible and you'll see the donkey word more times than you can count). Or watch for yourself. We know it's going to be a good episode when he gets flashback time. It's soooo good you guys! It's just nice to do what normal folks do again...

Anyway, I have learned a lot about wait time.

If you know me, you know I don't do so great in god's wait room. It is so suspenseful...and exhilarating. I get way to antsy waiting, like a kid with ADD. I really do...

But waiting is so much easier when you ride the wave I find. At church worship time a while ago, we were singing to a song that said "it will be my joy to say, Your will, Your way!". I was singing that to the Lord and I felt His tapping..."can you really say that Sarah?"

And then I stopped singing it because at the moment I really couldn't say it. I'd been fighting for my own way and will on something particular at the time. I felt convicted and a bit in shock at this revelation. I needed to be able to sing that and proclaim over this thing in my life I'd been trying to control "not my will or way! Your's God!". 

So I've been reading a lot about the rewards in waiting and the strength that is built up in your relationship with Christ when you let Him take the reigns.

"But they who wait on the lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not grow weary; they shall walk and not faint." Is 40:31

"The lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him." Lam 3:25

"But as for me, I will look to the lord; I will wait for the god of my salvation; my God will hear me." 


In other words, you won't grow tired but strong, he will be good to you and bless you for waiting and persevering in it and he hears you as you wait for him!

It all sounds great. It all is great. But actually living it out can be hard. It's something you actively must choose each day when you wake up, that God is good no matter what in the wait room. You take one day and one minute at a time. You don't put the cart before the horse. You embrace the wait room and  the stillness and even the silence. You pick up the bible as you sit there in the wait room to help you pass the time and to give you the strength and encouragement to carry on and keep waiting. He's going to work it out all for the glorification of Him and His will for your life. No matter the outcome of what you are waiting on, you will be blessed for waiting! Whether that's here on earth and in Heaven or just in Heaven. 

The wait is never easy. It's a struggle and the enemy is so quick to try and get you to take those reigns back or never give them to Jesus at all. The enemy is always seeking to make you believe lies that it's better to trust in your plans and your control. It may even seem like a good idea and there may even be some good things that present themselves to you at the time if you continue to take the reigns. I know there were for me. It made me want to throw my hands in the air and say no! Not waiting anymore this is absurd.

That's what I used to do. But this time, I wanted to try things differently with this thing I've waited on. And friends, it's SO much easier. You may think it's better to take control and that it doesn't make sense to just surrender it over to God, that it'd be harder, but seriously take it from someone who knows. It's really not. 

Because when you take control and don't wait on him, the "reward" feels so shallow and fleeting. That's because it is. And then you move onto the next thing and you wonder why the end isn't as satisfying as you thought it'd be. There's a reason for that dear one.

We were meant to live for so much more than our own will and ways. We are called to abandon this. We are called to worship God with our lives by trusting Him with our life, every ounce. Every ounce meaning the very hard too! 

So that's what I'm doing. I'm letting God have full reign over my life with waiting on this thing instead of fighting Him on it. I've learned a lot and know that I will only ever be truly satisfied with waiting by waiting on Him to come out of the wait room and deliver the news, not me! And I couldn't be happier and more care free! Freedom in Christ has been such a big lesson for me and this journey of learning how to apply it to my whole life has deepend my relationship with Him in ways I didn't think I'd tap into at this age.

I hope this blesses and encourages someone. If you're waiting, don't fight Him. Embrace it. There are so many wonderful things that come when you do

Sarah


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