Kellen James's Birth Story

Where to even begin...I didn't know that I was capable of such a love. He is here, healthy and has changed our lives forever. We just love our sweet little love and are so so elated to be Kellen's parents! This is his birth story...


Thursday March 6th at about 10:30 am I was lying on the couch watching a silly television show and had just gotten done eating a nice breakfast. I hadn't gotten up in a while and thought to myself "I should probably go and use the bathroom, it has been a little bit" and so I got up from the couch and all a sudden I felt a sort of 'rush' of liquid come. My first initial thought was "Oh my gosh, really?! I just peed my pants!". It was embarrassing even though I was alone. But then I had another thought " due date is in like 9 days. Maybe my water broke! I think my water just broke!"

So I first called my mom and Ben. Neither of them answered as they were working so I called the Labor and Delivery at our Hospital, gave them my story and they said to wait around an hour and see if the liquid kept coming then try calling them back. So I did. And, it kept coming! It was then that I knew that this was the real deal! My son was on his way! Finally Ben called me and I told him "You're going to want to come home because my water officially broke!" and he told me he was on his way. Next thing I did was call labor and delivery at our hospital again and they told me they needed me to come into the hospital right away instead of doing early labor at home (which was our original plan but we couldn't because of the risk for baby getting an infection if 12 hours or more of no contractions went by). I wasn't having contractions yet and so we decided to clean the house and pack a few last minute things before taking off to the hospital. I was still really perky and happy and didn't have any contractions so far so we took our time getting to the hospital. 

When we got there, one of my midwives and the L&D (labor and delivery) nurses hooked me up to a monitor to check Kellen's little heartbeat and I was given my antibiotics for GBS (as I tested positive for it). They checked to see if my water had broken and told me that it officially had! Ben and I were elated and finally got ahold of my mom to let her know that she could come to L&D anytime to help out (as her and Ben were going to be my labor coaches). My midwife, Joyce, then told me that they would continue to check on me and monitor Kellen's heartbeat with a doppler and continue to check and see if I had gotten my contractions yet (as I still had not). My midwife informed me that after 12 hours of your water not breaking that women are at a high risk for infection as well as their babies. It was around 2:30 pm during this time.

We got into my L&D room where we planned for a Natural Childbirth in the water for Kellen and patiently waited and waited for my contractions to start. We were so excited!

Ben and I had done the Bradley Method and we both felt very strongly about having Kellen do this labor naturally on his own without pain medication on my end. It's something we felt very strongly about. We did lots of walking and talking together down the hallways of Labor and Delivery. LOTS of walking! 

I kept checking to see if my contractions started and they still hadn't. We waited and waited until about the evening and I was beginning to go from really excited to really anxious for my contractions to come. Then worried and then disappointed. 

It was around 10:30pm that night that my midwife Joyce sat down with me and said she really really wanted my contractions to start on their own and let my body 'do it's thing' but was also worried about my risk and Kellen's risk of getting an infection. She offerred me Petocin, which essentially would kickstart the contractions for me and get labor finally going. Ben and I sat and talked about it and I must admit I shed a few tears because other than my water breaking, labor just didn't seem like it was happening and taking Petocin was just not something I foresaw even happening at all when I wrote up my Natural Birth Plan. So Ben and I talked to my midwife Joyce and requested that we wait until we reached the 24 hour mark to talk about Petocin again. We wanted to give my body more time for contractions to come but at the same time didn't want to push it too much with the risk of infecting Kellen. She felt that was wise and that would be giving my body more time to get contractions started (as we'd already waited 12 hours at that point at 10:30pm). I was okay with letting my body have more time for contractions to start but didn't want to go any longer than 24-hours and risk getting Kellen or myself infected with something (as that would have been so awful). So that's what we decided to do.

So we waited the whole night, tried to sleep and still nothing came. I prayed a lot about it and really felt like the Lord was there with me the entire time. I could really feel God reassuring me I was not a failure and that I needed to ultimately put my trust in Him and His control, not my own strength and my own plans but His. I finally felt at peace about it. It was at about 10 am the next day on March 7th that I gave my midwife Joyce the okay to put me on a little Petocin to get my contractions. I was finally going to meet my son and that was what mattered most!

Around an hour or so after they gave me Petocin, my mom and I did 'laps' around the labor and delivery halls and I started to feel my contractions coming in! I was elated at first and then pretty soon I had to start stopping and take a moment to relax through my contractions. I knew that things were going to get more intense soon so we headed back to my L&D room and I continued to sit on a birthing ball for a while as my contractions started to really peak! We made the environment as relaxing as possible--dimmed lights, spa music I'd downloaded and I did a ton of relaxed, deep, meditative breathing on the birthing ball as my contractions came. They were getting more and more intense each one passing but I took them one at a time and I can honestly say that I could feel the Lord's presence so strongly during each one, Him being my comfort and reassuring me of His plan in designing me for this very task! My mom timed out my contractions and Ben rubbed my back as I had them and they were able to help me relax when the next one would come. I kept very calm, composed and focused during this stage. My body was hard-at-work and I knew that all this pain was good pain because my body was doing it's job.

After that my contractions started getting so intense that I honestly started to have a hard time relaxing through them. So we switched positions and I layed on the hospital bed for a while to relax through them. Not much longer after that they started to give me soooo much pain that I couldn't lay there anymore and I needed  to get in the warm water. So the nurses filled up the tub for me while I tried so so hard to relax and keep breathing deeply during my contractions. At around 12:45pm-ish I got in the tub and much to everyone's surprise, the water didn't seem to help me one bit! Honestly I just felt as if it made things worse and my contractions started to get so intense and hurt so so bad that I turned to Ben and told him "Honey, I can't do this! I can't do this! I didn't know pain until now. Screw this natural childbirth thing, those people are crazy...I was crazy for thinking I could do it!". Mom and Ben, being my great coaches who knew how hard I'd been training these months for a natural birth, tried to comfort me and reassure me that I could do it and that God designed me for this work! Ben even reminded me that in our Bradley Method book they said that this emotional sign-post of feeling like I could do it anymore meant that I was really close to pushing. I straight up told Ben he was crazy because my labor contractions just started not that long ago. I kept thinking "No! You have no idea what you mean...I just started and I've got hours and hours to go and if I can't handle these ones now, there's no way I'll be able to get through the rest..." . And Ben then insisted that according to the Bradley Method we'd done that this emotional sign-post of self-doubt meant that I was really close to pushing. I personally didn't believe him and my midwife, Carlene, even said to him "No hun, she's only at 5 cm, she's got a while yet to push Baby". It was 1:18pm this time.

I then had them switch me over from the warm water back onto my hospital bed, as I felt I could relax through the contractions more there than in the water. I started to cry and doubt myself as I really struggled to relax during the contractions and it was then I asked again for some sort of pain-med to help me get through it. Ben and my mom tried to comfort me again but it didn't seem to help and then I started to feel this really strong strong urge to push. I told my midwife Carlene I really wanted to push and she then said she'd conduct an exam to see if I'd gotten any farther. I continued to ask for pain-meds and the nurses, midwife, my mom and Ben kept encouraging me that I could do it on my own and that they knew me and my birth plan and how much I really had wanted this. I was really started to lose hope and just didn't think I could hang on anymore...

At about 1:35pm this time, my midwife Carlene performed an exam and she looked up at me and said "Oh honey, you don't need anything. Sarah, you can start pushing!". I couldn't hardly believe it and I felt immediately so much relief that I could push. I felt a little sense of empowerment at this and suddenly the thought of taking any pain-meds seemed pointless and I found myself not caring about pain anymore. I was going to meet my son in just moments. So I started to push!

I had gone from 5cm at 1:18pm, to 9 cm by 1:35pm...And at 1:51pm in the afternoon, on Friday March 7th 2014, Kellen James Illick was born!   

I got to hold my son right away in my arms for the very first time, as soon as I'd had him. He was the most precious thing I'd ever seen and I couldn't stop the tears of joy from coming and there was nothing in the world like holding him. And, I had met my goal of having a naturally pain-medicine free labor! I am so happy that I didn't give in in the end and that I had such amazing support around me to help me realize that I could do it! That a natural labor was indeed possible for me! I don't think there were too many dry eyes in the room. My son was here and very healthy and finally in my arms and he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, done and worked so hard for. My heart and Ben's were just so overwhelmed with love for him and we both felt God so strongly through this whole entire labor and even more when Kellen was in our arms. It was one of the most happy days of our lives. We were now a little family of 3!

Soon after we headed up to the Post-Recovery rooms where we were treated like royalty with help from the best nursing staff! They were so wonderful to us and helped me in so many ways. Ben and I are so thankful for their loving care for us both and our son. We truly feel so blessed by our midwives, their nursing staff and the post-recovery nursing staff still. We are so happy to be parents to our little guy and to finally have him home. It has been such an adventure and we are just smitten and so in love with our son. We can't stop the kisses, snuggles and hugs and we are just cherishing every single moment of every day that we've had with him and will continue to do so. God is SO GOOD and we are such a blessed little family<3

With love from a now New and PROUD MOMMY,

Sarah (& little Kellen) <3

1 comment:

  1. Your story is truly inspirational to me (& i'm sure all other ladies) who are hoping for a natural childbirth! Congratulations on making it through your goal & becoming a mommy!!